The night was rough. She didn't sleep well and kept requesting things that were not available. She screamed for 20 min straight for a Cafe Rio salad... the burrito was not cutting it at 2:30 am.
Not really the day I was hoping for. Awaiting good news from the blood cultures. Pumping her full of antibiotics, trying to entertain and keep the girl happy. She made requests all day long for all sorts of things (Cafe Rio, Pizza Factory & breadsticks..pizza with the little brown things, chips and guac, sprite). She was not afraid to demand it from anyone and she expected it right then no matter the time. Dr. Nygard came in and informed me that we would probably be here until Tue. The peripheral blood draw came back negative which meant the infection is probably in her port. I didn't fully understand what that meant. Everyone left to get things done/in order and I was waiting for Slade to come so I could feed him. Nygard came in and broke the news. They wanted me at PCMC as quickly as possible so they could remove her port due to the infection. They also wanted me to go by ambulance. I was shocked and said I didn't want to go my ambulance again. That was traumatizing and not the best experience. She hadn't fevered for 3 days and her vitals were fine. I couldn't believe it. Another thing gone wrong. Feeling really unlucky and bummed about everything. I didn't want to refuse the ambulance but basically said that I DID NOT want to go that way. I asked if it would make a difference if my dad went with us... they said no because even though he is a doctor he doesn't have all of the supplies. Not sure what they bargained, but gave us the blessing to go by car. I was stressed and crushed. I didn't know what to do with Slade. I feel like I have hardly seen him for the past 2 weeks. I am nursing him and that always adds the extra challenge. It is also a challenge to have him at PCMC because he wants to get down and play and that is difficult when you are dealing with a sick 2 1/2 year old. The Stevensons offered to keep him while my mom came with me to PCMC. We got everything arranged and bags quickly packed. Slade came so I could feed him one last time before I left. As we got in the car Taleah said, "That hospital was fun, but I like Primary Children's better." Little did she know that was where we were going.
The drive was ok. She slept for about 3 hours of the 4 1/2. That was helpful. I tried to sleep to gear up for the next few days, but only slept one hour. My mom and dad followed behind us.It was POURING rain and I felt like that just added to my anger. We arrived to PCMC and a flood of emotions hit me. It feels all too fresh... because it is. We are settled and awaiting the info/time for surgery. Fasting again.... on steroids. TORTURE! She will be an add on so there is no telling when we will go. But we have to be prepared and fast for the earliest time possible. TORTURE! This whole hospital will be awake tonight. I am sure of it!
My feelings are all over the place. I am pretty mad and upset. All of the "9 out of 10" things....keep being the "1 out of 10" for us. It sounds terrible to say but I feel like with all of the prayers in her behalf... that these things shouldn't be happening. I know that is not the way it works. I know things could be worse. Just doesn't seem right. Was it something I could have prevented? She has already gone through so much in 2 weeks. Her whole world has changed and been flipped upside down. Should she have to have added obstacles? Should she have to endure additional suffering? I don't think so. This is a lot to go through for lessons and growth. I must really need to grow and learn. Wish I could do it another way. I don't have the best feelings tonight. I don't want to even think about what the next few days will bring. PRAYING for good news tomorrow or some positive something for Taleah. Side note... We received blessings from Scott. They were very sweet and helped a little. Still anxious/nervous/scared.
Wish I could take this from her. So much!