These kids have been troopers. It's been a rough week and they've been along for the ride. Playing in masks, hanging in a tiny hospital room and feelin the love. This has been the most interaction Taleah has given anyone in the last 6 days.... I'm thinking these babies will be a giant blessing through this trial. She is continually asking when they will be here and usually wants them to stay longer (unless they cry for too long). Today has been the best day by far and I can't help but think it's because of the prayers/fasting on our behalf.
Taleah's counts have been dropping, which is what we want. Her platelets were really low today so she had a platelet transfusion. It always reminds me how grateful I am for people that donate platelets and blood. It is truly saving lives. This is her second transfusion this week. We always pre-medicate her with Benadryl before due to the high chance of a reaction.
This is the last day of steroids. The hunger has finally set in. She has made some pretty rude remarks and has very little patience. She seems like she is almost in a daze and just not herself. I have to remember that the steroids have always done that to her. I just hate that she isn't her spunky little self. I keep thinking that I wish I would've embraced and loved her spunky attitude at home, I wish I would've spent some more one on one time with her when she was feeling good, I wish I would've worried less about a clean house and got down and played with my kiddos. I know I can't wish for things in the past, but man this really makes ya think... and wish.
We have had some visitors and enjoyed the company. She hasn't been very social but has made some comments and answered some questions. This is progress. She is not freaking out when people come in the room and is cooperating for most things.
She is already losing weight and her little muscly body is almost no longer. She is starting to look pale and "sick". I don't know why my stomach sinks every couple of times I look at her and I reminded of the situation. I know what is happening and what to expect, but I still do it. Crazy what can happen in 1 week!
We are currently awaiting more chemo and procedures, waiting for the results of the kiddos and potential matching, and praying that her body is doing what it is supposed to.
I am receiving a lot of uplifting quotes. They are very helpful especially when I let my anger/bitter attitude get the best of me. This may sound crazy, but my mind wanders to the worst place at times. It wanders to what could be, what ifs, and lots of other sad/crazy things. I know that it's pointless and not my choice/plan. I still do it, but it's nice because these quotes bring me back.
❤️ It will be alright in the end, trust in God and believe in good things to come. ❤️