The past couple of days have been a little rough. She has struggled with nausea, diarrhea and pain. We have been slowly lowering the pain pump and taking out nausea meds. She has also started taking a few things orally. Watching her suffer some more is still heartbreaking. It doesn't get easier.
The plan was to start shots that help boost the immune system by day 21 if she wasn't an ANC of 500. I was so excited when we woke up and received the news that she was 500. YAY!! They would consider it engraftment (accepting Tait's marrow and building an immune system) day as long as the following day was 500 as well. Everyone was so excited!
She was allowed to leave the room for the first time in 24 days. She was so excited to ride the bike and actually felt good enough to do it. She was going pretty strong for 45 minutes.
She was excited to give a matching elephant to a little friend a few doors down. They are close in age and I think she was just excited to see another kid. Made me happy.
We went to bed really hoping that the next day would bring good numbers. She even prayed that she would stop throwing up and have a good ANC. It made me so happy to hear her pray for that but also a little nervous because of the what ifs. I think she is excited to be discharged and be a little normal.
It is also difficult and I have mixed emotions about the fact that my other kids are sick. Runny nose, cough, ect. It sounds like no big deal but it is a HUGE deal for Taleah. I want to be a family so bad but I have to try and be level headed and do what is best for all of us.
I wasn't thrilled when they came in and said her ANC and WBC had dropped. The ANC is 400 and it needed to be 500!!! Dang! However, the platelets had risen on their own and the monocytes had stayed the same (I wouldn't know what any of this meant if I wasn't a cancer mom). It is good that everything didn't drop but I was crushed. I wanted everything to keep going in the right direction. She is still having more diarrhea than they would like. Something we will be watching for is Graft Vs Host Disease (GVHD). I really hope that is not the case, but we will just wait and see.
If her ANC is 400 again tomorrow, they will most likely do the shots to boost the immune system. I hear it is fairly common but I just wanted her to do it on her own SO bad.
This is all a reminder that this is all out of my hands. It is so hard to watch her suffer. It is so hard when things don't go the way you have planned. It is tough to miss my other kiddos and not be there for them when they are sick. Ugh. Feeling a little discouraged and I am sick of her suffering. Again, it is out of my hands and I need to accept it and have faith. Easier said than done BUT it has gotten us this far so I need to trust.
Please keep her in your prayers.