Easter Week

I/She was so excited to go to cheer tryouts. I think most of all I was happy to pretend to be "normal". Maintenance is approaching quickly and I wanted to get a feel and slowly work into a normal life. She had a blast! I think most of all I loved that she was smiling and being active.
She wasn't even feeling her best, but still had a great time. She is more than happy to be on the mini cheer team. I was a nervous wreck the entire time we were there. Following her with hand sanitizer, making sure she didn't touch any of the other girls. I am hoping that people won't send their kid if they are sick. I may even send home a note making people aware of her condition and to keep me informed of exposure to chicken pox (can be dangerous for kiddos with no immune system). It may be a little over the top....? Who cares.

One "positive" thing to come out of this cancer/being stuck at home.... the relationship that these two have. I was doing dishes and looked over to see them cuddling. Loved it. Tried to snap a pic and ruined it. We don't get to play with people often so they have learned to play with each other and love it/hate it.

Easter Weekend
Oh how I loved this weekend. We all did. I was stressed (surprise?) about everyone staying healthy and then my own children had runny noses. Luckily, everyone stayed pretty healthy. We spent most of the time outside so I felt better about that. The joy on Taleah and Slade's faces was priceless. I guess I didn't realize how much Slade misses out on too. They were both in heaven. They loved every minute. Never wanted to leave. True Happiness.

The Easter egg hunt with the Stevenson side. We haven't seen these cousins for so long and it was great to hang out. Sandee and Rob went to a lot of work to keep everyone happy. It didn't go unnoticed and we appreaciated every bit of it. Especially the kids.

These three girlies are all born within 3 months of each other. They have become good little buddies and played well together.

We spent an afternoon in our yard with the cousins and had so much fun. We reflected on how much work went into our yard and the people that spent hours/money to make it what it is. Thank you!

Taleah kept telling me, "I am SO excited for Easter!" She was more than thrilled to go to church. I had NO idea what her counts were and still don't. I just couldn't have her miss out on much more. We were careful and even attended nursery (1/2 the time). She was so happy and it made me so grateful that she is here with us and fighting this beast. We never got a family pic on Easter morning. I am more than bummed.

We headed to Kanab after church for the annual Easter festivities. It was great to see everyone. Grandma Young always puts a lot of work into the weekend and were glad to be there for part of it.

However, it was my realization that my kids have become anti-social. They were afraid of everyone and didn't want to talk/look at anyone. Kind of embarrassing and sad at the same time. I am hoping that real life will help with that adjustment in life.

Taleah was in the dancing mood. We spent more than hour at Grammy's daning and having cheer class. Everyone participated.. even Grammy and Gramps. Hilarious. Wish I had video.

Her favorite aunt Grammy. She spent most of her time with her. Surprise!!! Thanks Treena!

It was a great weekend. It was awesome to be a part of family things. It was great to feel kind of normal. I hope maintenance will be that for us. I hope we can adjust and be "normal again". Oh and the mouth sores never came. I am SO grateful that they stayed away. I guess they could still come but let's hope not.

One week and then we find out about maintenance. I am beginning to feel sick about it. Dumb stress. I need to do some serious praying and find some peace. We will. We will figure it out. Thank you for all of your prayers/kindness. Means more than you will ever know.

Ups and Downs- End of IM2

I have been a wreck. Waiting for mouth sores to appear and any other side effects of the high dose chemo she received. I am really trying to just enjoy these moments but I just can't. She is so up and down and will change in literally a second. The emotional outbursts are almost more than I can handle. It is SO hard to know where to draw the line as far as discipline. I know she doesn't feel well but I think she is beginning to use the "chemo" as an excuse only because she hears me do it. She is not very social/friendly with people she doesn't know. I pipe in and explain that she just had chemo and is not feeling well... therefor Taleah used that as her excuse for bad behavior toward Scott last night. It broke my heart that she even had the option for that as an excuse. However, I don't want her to associate bad behavior with chemo. We tried to do semi-normal things this weekend and we shouldn't have. She was emotional, crying and not a lot of fun to be around. I just want to be able to enjoy this great weather and be normal.

We did make it to the park and she was actually happy 80% of the time.



After our attempt of doing normal things... she didn't feel well. She cried and cried.. I made her 3 different dinners and nothing was satisfying enough. Luckily, Scott saved the day with the idea of a bubble bath. A serious bubble bath. She was all about posing for the camera. She loved it!


We were able to have a girls date while daddy was at priesthood and Slade was with Grandma Stevenson. We went to Julie's salon while Tavia had her hair done for junior prom (she wore my grandma's prom dress from 1961). Taleah was in heaven doing girly things. I think she enjoyed the one on one time with NO distractions.

We are trying to be normal as we are approaching "maintenance". I took them to the grocery store and boy was it an adventure. Of course I brought my own Clorox wipes to clean the entire cart. Yes, I received some "looks" but it's all good. Not sure if I will ever get over wiping things down. It is now a habit.

I must say that conference was amazing. I think a lot of those talks were just what I needed. It seemed like there were a lot of talks on sick kids, trials and the plan of happiness. There was one talk on Sunday morning that made me cry. It was very emotional for me and made me think of our lives and the many other cancer cuties' families. A real perspective of why these sweet kids suffer and why some of them return to our Heavenly Father sooner than we would like. Touched my heart and it was a talk that I will never forget.

Maintenance if the last phase in Taleah's treatment. It will begin April 16th (if she makes counts) and last until October 31, 2013. Taleah has been on a study since the beginning. They took a little extra blood and bone marrow sample for the study. The treatment plan is not different from the "regular" until maintenance. Then, it is an option of 4 different arms. The child is randomized to an arm and then the parent has the option to stay or withdraw from the study and continue with the standard plan (which is 1 of the 4 arms). One arm is less chemo, one is standard treatment, and the other two arms are additional chemo. I can see pros and cons for both. I know people that have children on all arms. It is extremely frightening to wait and find out what she is randomized to and then decide if it is something we think is right for her. There will be a lot of prayer and fasting for that decision.

We will pray that the next 2 weeks go smoothly (we have no scheduled appts). Hoping for no major side effects and a happy break. She may end up needing a platelet transfusion because they were so low before she had this last dose. Time will tell. Until then, we will try to live it up!