Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Medicine Sucks

Medicine sucks.

Cancer sucks.

I worked all day after arriving home from SLC the previous day.

While working, I get updates from my mom on Taleah. She is not feeling well. Slept in late. Took a nap. Not much energy. I HATED that I wasn't there to take care of her.

After work, I have both kids. She is pretty needy and so is Slade because he didn't nap much throughout the day.

I did come home to dinner on my front doorstep and I have no idea who it was from. I was so thankful because I had no idea what I was going to do for dinner.

I did my best to keep both kids happy. It was difficult.

After putting Slade to bed, I attempted the medicine routine. It usually takes anywhere from 10 min to 1 hour.

Tonight we set a record.... 2 hrs and 40 minutes. I was on the verge of tears, there was crying and yelling, puking, pinning down, negotiating, stalling, crying and crying. I HATED it. I know she didn't feel the best. I was the "bad guy" and tried to force it. Scott arrived after the first 45 minutes had passed and he tried being the bad guy. Nothing was working. I wish she could know that I was actually trying to help her, but that's not the way it is. It sucked SO bad to look at her and know she doesn't feel good and FORCE her to take this stuff that she knows is going to taste bad. I can't even count the amount of times that she told me it was going to taste bad. And she was right... it does taste bad. I tried explaining that she has to take it no matter what. Not sure she gets that.

After the puking mess, we put her in the shower. I finally got her to take it by threatening to pin her down again. That's horrible. Her sad face and words of fear just about ripped my heart out.

I hate the medicine. I know it is good for her and is saving her life, but it's rough. Exhausting...physically and emotionally.

Instead of unpacking, laundry, dishes, picking up and playing with my kids... I had to fight my daughter for almost 3 hours. It was not one bit of fun and I felt like I was torturing her. Isn't it enought that her body is feeling terrible from the new chemo? Isn't it enough to endure what this Leukemia has already presented.? Other kids were probably playing and enjoying their evening home while we were screaming, yelling and puking at this household.

Medicine can really suck.

So can cancer.

Above all of that, we have been blessed and spoiled by many people. Even on days like today, it doesn't go unappreciated. Thank you everyone for doing what you can to make this easier on us.


  1. That does suck. I'm so sorry!! Is there any way to hide the medicine in a drink and give it to her while she is distracted watching a movie or something? There was about a month where Brielle was refusing to take hers and it was a battle every night - same behaviors on our part and hers that you are describing from tonight. We finally just started making this mixed drink and didn't tell her that her medicine was in it. I think she kind of knew, but she would still drink it. I just used some sour things - that purple juice we use, plus apple juice, plus a danimal. I would crush the medicine, put it right on top and not shake it so it would go through the sippy cup holes with her first few sips so I knew she got it. Taleah is very smart, so I'm not sure if it would work with her though. So hard when you know how much the medicine is needed (especially in your case), but to the two-year old, the main thing they know is that it tastes terrible and they hate it. Wish I lived closer so I could come over and help on nights like these. Please call me anytime! I hate that I can't do much to help you guys. Hugs. Hope tomorrow goes better.

  2. What a rough day. Sorry for that. Tomorrow will be better.

  3. Does she like smoothies? If you add pineapple and limes to your smoothie it hides the taste of so many things. Maybe you have already tried this but I think it could work.

  4. I was thinking about you the other day when Tylee broke her arm and wouldn't take her pain medicine, she would straight up spit it out the second it touched her tongue. I thought how in the world do you do it all the time! I hope it gets easier for you tosh! Good luck!

  5. I'm sorry about the rough day. I hope that today is better. Just remember you are an amazing person.
    Love, Jenni-Ohio

  6. Dang! I'm sorry about the medicine, that really sucks. I hope it gets easier for you!

  7. I've been reading your blog for a while even though you don't know me. I want you to know that I check it every day and pray for you! Also, have to asked the doctor if there is another way to administer the medicine? You probably have but I knew a kid who was the same way with his meds and his parents were able to give it to him through his rectum. I hope that isn't too much information...just thought it might help. Good luck!

  8. I have also been reading your blog even though you don't know me and praying for you all! I am sure you have had ten million suggestions for food you can hide the medicine in but I thought I would make a suggestion. When my brother was little he also had to take some nasty medicine on a regular basis. My mom would crush the pill and then stir it into some Nutella (hazelnut spread-so yummy) and smear it on a graham cracker. The graham cracker hides the grainy pill and the Nutella is so delicious, Good luck!

  9. Yes it does suck! My kids both hate taking any kind for any reason and will change their story about how sick they are if they think medicine is involved. I wish you the best. These are some pretty good suggestions to keep in mind though.

  10. Sometimes I wonder if that is how Heavenly Father feels...thinking "I'm really trying to do what's best for you. Just trust me." Hang in there. We're praying for you.

  11. Still praying for you and your family. I think about you guys all the time.