Sunday, February 19, 2012

Tiny Anxiety

I took a few pics with my phone at the game. I had to post a few to try and show how amazing it was. A moment I will never forget.

We had a great weekend enjoying the weather and a few "normal" things. We attended soccer games, went to lunch, attended the PV race, ect. It was lots of fun and tiring too.

She was excited for the race. She kept telling everyone (the night before) that there was a race for her in the morning. I think she thinks it is normal for every kid to get this special treatment.

The support was AMAZING! I couldn't even believe it. What a great school and a great community.

We went to the DHHS basketball game (she wore a mask most of the time). She loved it. She loved people watching, being surrounded by people and feeling normal. She wanted to stunt after the game with the cheerleaders. She was a little shy once she was up (people were staring), but she loved it and won't stop looking at ther picture.

Sad to say, but I think this weekend has weighed heavy on me because I know we are headed to Primary's on Monday. It's weird because it is mostly the drive that stresses me out. I think it's because I know what it is leading to... I don't know exactly but I HATE the drive. Bad attitude I know. She wasn't thrilled when I told her we were going up there. Breaks my heart cause she hates it, she mostly hates being sedated. I hate it too. Dang! I am anxious about this new phase, even though it is similar to what we have done. It is much higher doses of the methotrexate (don't even get me started on the shortage thing). I am stressed to say the least... it's the unknown that I don't do well with. AT ALL. I just want to have a normal life again (even though I know that will NEVER happen). I just want her to be able to do the things that other kids do like gymnastics, dance, cheer, whatever she wants. Luckily, she doesn't grasp it all other than she hates feeling crappy. I am going to try and have a good attitude and embrace the drive up. We can do it.


  1. Tosha, I'm sure you've heard lots of these stories but maybe they help in some small way. I just got back from watching Music Man at our high school and one of the cutest girls in the cast is a member of Diana's ward. She also had leukemia when she was about Taleah's age. Tonight she was a dancer in the play and also performs in the school's top show choir. She is just a beautiful girl with a beautiful smile and everytime I see her perform I think of Taleah! She is inspiring and I know that Taleah will continue to inspire others too throughout her life. We love you!