Let's just say that the week leading up to our trip was wonderful. I loved every second. We were still careful and cleacn, but I am afraid that may be a new way of life. It has to be.
We left in the afternoon so we could have a little time to play in SLC.
We stopped for dinner before we headed to visit the Warners. Taleah was thrilled to see the kids.
She had fun playing with Kaleb. He is all boy and she is all girl. Pretty funny to watch them interact. She was a little shy and kept her distance, but then she reminded me that he couldn't get too close because she was accessed. Anytime her port is accessed, she is sure that everyone keeps their distance. I have to be extra careful even when I am picking her up.
I tried to encourage her to be extra brave today. We told her that we could go to Build-a-Bear if she was nice and brave. She was already accesed so that was a big step. We were on a Tuesday... which is different from our usual day (Monday). The second we walked in and saw different people, she was checked out and wouldn't even weigh by herself or with me. I thought it was going to be a rough day. Luckily, Daphne walked in right then and saved the day. Taleah wanted to show Daphne how brave she was. I love that we always see them at clinic!!
While talking to Barnette, Taleah had my phone (as a distraction) and took a picture of herself and then posted it on facebook. This girl seriously runs my iphone. It's bad news. Anything to keep her distracted. She interacted with Dr. Barnette so much more this time and didn't cry. YAY!
She was not thrilled about the sedation. We arrived at 8am and headed into the sedation room at about 10am. She calls it the smiley face (because of the leads they put on her stomach/chest) room that makes her dizzy. It broke my heart that she told me she didn't like how that room made her dizzy. Awww... dang cancer.
She wanted to hold her blanket and basically hide from the nurses. We took pictures to distract and pass the time. Whatever works right?!
We have to wait after sedation because they have to monitor her for 30 min in the room and then another 30 min in the infusion room while she is getting her chemo. Using my phone as a distractin again... watching Barney.
We headed to the mall and granted her wish because there were NO tears. She was awesome. She didn't feel great and was tired while getting the chemo. She loved building the bear.
She named her bear Mi Mi.
The ride home ended up being ok because she slept 3 hours of it. She woke up with 40 min to go and she was in so much pain. It broke my heart. She cried because her head hurt so bad. She threw up when we got home. She cried in pain all night and it broke my heart. She ended up sleeping with Scott and slept through the night. I had to work the next day and my mom had the kids. It was obvious she didn't feel well. It's terrible watching her suffer. After work, I brought her home and she cried for 2 1/2 hours. I hated that too. She was suffering and nothing I could do was helping. I figured my anxiety proved me right. Dang cancer..... stealing her innocence. It's so hard to watch. The last week was a teaser. I can't decide if it was good or bad because now the bad seems so much worse. It was sense of normal life and a happy girl and then it was a big slap in the face. It was that reminder of cancer that has changed our lives. It was a big reminder that we are so not done with this and we have so far to go. I was officially dreading the next 2 months. I was hoping we could be to maintenance already. Even last year... IM2 was not a part of the treatment plan. It is an added phase, but I guess it is for a reason so we will take it. Praying she will do ok.