Monday, August 29, 2011

Day 2- Afternoon and Evening

The morning wasn't too bad. She didn't feel too great and didn't want to move much, but I could tell a difference. She was mostly a little weak, the port was still sore and the spot where they took the bone marrow sample.

Around 2pm, she started being herself again. Not 100%, but a little spunk was coming out. I loved it! So much!

She didn't have too much to do today and it was kind of nice for her to just use the bathroom, eat and drink (a little), have vitals taken, and take lots of medicine. Nothing too traumatizing and a chance to take it all in.


I had some visits from different "crews" around the hospital. It reminded me how much I still have to learn. It is a little overwhelming and they stack of papers/binder keep staring me in the face. I haven't read much of it and I know I need to. It's almost as if I don't read it then it won't be real. I know it is, but I just don't want to think about it. I will learn what I need to and do my best to care for my baby. Maybe it has all been so fast...






Treena had some serious dance moves. It was VERY entertaining. Taleah loved all of the visitors we had today. Thank you for coming and showing your love and support.






Around 9pm (right after this picture), she became tired and in a little pain. It then reminded me why were here and what the next little while will be like. It was kind of slap in the face after the good hours we had together. I know this is how the next 2-3 years will be.


As for me, the rollercoaster was not as extreme today. Probably due to the happy girl I was able to spend time with. I did break down when the social worker came in to remind me of the rules and kindly "put me in my place". Oh and I did break down when I saw the sweet girl with a mask and no hair in the lobby of our unit. Oh and then there was another in the shower. I feel like I am accepting it though and trying to stay positive. It is is the hardest when the crying comes in front of her and then she becomes upset. Also, when people come to visit and they see her and cry. I know how they feel and I feel the same, but it makes her nervous because she thinks something is terribly wrong...which is her having cancer. Still not right.


We are so overwhelmed by the support we have received. All of these people that want to help and I have NO idea how to thank/repay them. It is extremely humbling. The ward, family and friends..THANK YOU!


Hoping tomorrow will be a good day. We will be getting ready for the next big day...day 4. She will receive some blood transfusions, platelets and more fluid. Go Taleah!

21 comments:

  1. i called my brother Jeremy today and told him about Taleah ... and he told me to tell you that you always seemed like a strong person and knows you can do this and is so sad to hear about it ... and even though i hardly know you and taleah i cried... i know just from reading your blog and now seeing this happen to you that you are such a strong woman and you can see that it has passed on to taleah. you guys are so amazing.. we will always keep you in our prayers. i can't believe this is actually happening to the most cutest girl. I'm so grateful for your example and grateful to see you can write a public journal so others can read. I pray all is going to go well and get better. much love.. amanda

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  2. Tosha,
    Your darling baby girl is in my thoughts and prayers. She is one lucky girl to have such great parents that love her. Tosha you have touched so many people and all in such a positive way. Now all those people are pulling together and praying for you, Scott and Teleah. I just wanted you to know you guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Gods speed!

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  3. You're an amazing mother! I'm behind you 100% of the way! I wish there was more I could do so far away, but I just keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep the positive thoughts coming!

    Love and miss you! xoxo

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  4. Aw what a trooper she is! I'm so glad you were able to have a few good hours with her. How fun to have your mom and Treena with you there too. They are so fun and probably help keep the mood light! I'm so impressed by your strength, Tosha! Good luck with Day 4!

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  5. Love seeing those pictures of a big smile across her face. Its amazing how they can still smile with everything going on. Just shows how strong she is. Hope today is great.

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  6. I'm so glad you got a little time with Taleah as herself! When we were inpatient at diagnosis Daph was miserable. She had a broken arm and a broken leg and had just had neck surgery. Then we started steroids, which completely mess with their mood. She was upset and not very loving. Completely different from herself. And that stayed pretty consistent after we got home. I started worrying that the trauma of it all had changed her personality permanently. But the real Daph slowly came back. And it helped me so much. Just to see that she had made it through.

    Taleah will surprise you with her strength. And you'll surprise yourself. I know I said that before, but it is very true.

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  7. Praying for you and thinking about you a lot! Your sweet girl is so special and powerful too! Hang in there!

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  8. I love that picture of Taleah with her little funny face. Those are the kinds of pictures I'm used to seeing of her from your blog:) so its nice to see that she was feeling a little better even if it was only for a minute. I wish that I could come see you guys so bad!! I've been honestly thinking about you guys every day!!! I hope each day gets easier and easier and she gets feeling BETTER!! Sure love you and your family. And we are praying for you guys and a healthy recovery!! She is such a strong little girl!!

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  9. I sit here reading your blog with tears running down my face. Putting myself in your shoes trying to imagine what you are going through. Thank you for sharing this blog and being so strong not only for Taleah but for everyone that may be going through something difficult. Taleah is a special girl. I love hearing the funny cute stories from Sandee about taleah when I do her hair:)Life is too short and we can't take anything for granted. Your family is beautiful, we love you guys and know that our thoughts and prayers are with you everyday!

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  10. There is that cute smile. Yah for some good hours to help you get through this. Hopefully she will warm up to Scott soon.

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  11. Yay! Love seeing those smiles. Your aunt is hilarious. I'm also glad that you have found such a good support network of other moms. My PKU email group is such a blessing to me and the only way I don't feel all alone with Brielle's care. Love you guys. Excited to see you this weekend.

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  12. SO many prayers and thoughts going your way.
    Just know that so many people LOVE this family. You guys are getting so much support from family and friends because of how kind YOU and your family are. Taleah is such a beautiful girl. Just through reading posts, being around her a little and seeing pictures it's obvious how strong she is. You guys got yourselves a little fighter. Thank the heavens for that little doll. She's a gem.
    God bless you during the hard times. Love you guys!

    Lexi

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  13. it was so good to see her smile! :) she's the cutest and strongest little girl!

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  14. You don't know me, and I don't know you. I am a friend to Ray and Sarah Miller. Your story touched me and I just wanted to let you know that there is another family praying for you and your sweet little girl. Hugs, prayers, and love.
    Katie

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  15. I just figured why got gave us all spunky little ones- those are the fighters! They can fight anything and so can you!! Hang in there- remember too that you need to be taken care of- if you aren't taleah can't be- good luck on day 4

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  16. You're in our prayers. The whole ward is here for you and we will help in anyway we can.

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  17. oh tosha, i am heartbroken for you.
    i've thought about you guys constantly since i heard the news. you're in our prayers.

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  18. I'm sooo glad you guys were able to break away for a moment today and have some fun! You have such a great family and an awesome support system. Still praying, wishing, hoping....all for Taleah! Love that little girl. Tell her I say hi and miss her tons!!!

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  19. I am so glad she was feeling better for a little bit! Goodluck today! GO TALEAH!!!!

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  20. I just read your story you are in our prayers. Stay strong. We will be thinking of you and your sweet family.

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  21. Tosha and Scott my heart goes out to you guys! I couldn't believe it when I heard this and it makes me sick to think about it!! I can't even imagine what you must be feeling!! I wish I could give you all a big hug and make the pain go away! I can't stop thinking about your family and your sweet little girl! You guys are in our prayers and I am so sorry y'all have to go through this!! May God be with you at this time and bring you all comfort and strength as he did for us when Rick passed. I know God will be there for 100% of the way just remember to turn to him during the moments you don't think you can make it through this! Much love and prayers going your way for Taleah!!

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