Sunday, September 18, 2011

Day 22

She has done fairly well today. We had a major meltdown when she woke up. The kind where nothing I do is right and she is screaming/crying and upset over every little thing. I ended up giving her a half dose of Benadryl at 3am last night and it helped her sleep uniterrupted until 8:15. Her poor little legs are really hurting her. She barely walks anymore and to get up and down is a task for her.

Scott let me sleep today. A lot. He took the kids to his parents and then mine for most of the day. I was able to have 10:30am-5pm to myself. I kind of felt guilty, but then decided that I had to sleep in order to stay sane. If I want to be a good mom and take care of these kiddos I need some sleep. It felt AMAZING! I don't know what we would do without our families. They are the best ever. They sacrifice so much for us. Honestly, I don't think we could do this without them.

She loves to laugh (when she feels like it). It is the cutest thing because she copies whoever she is laughing with. Kate caught this pic(with her phone) mid-laughter and I love it!!

She loves being surrounded by people right now, but usually only a few at a time. As long as she is laughing/happy I am good. It's when she is crying or in pain that I get major anxiety.

After talking to some people about this whole "plan" thing, I started thinking about life. I realized that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. He has a plan for Taleah. She was chosen to endure this trial because she is strong. He wouldn't have her go through this if she couldn't handle it. Says a lot about this little one. He knows what we can handle and I know that it won't be easy. I know that it is going to be hard in so many ways, but I have faith that Heavenly Father will help us through. I think it is that way for all little kids who go through things similar to this. I am constantly amazed at these kids that I meet and the strength they have. They were chosen because they are strong. And I am lucky enough to be her mom.

Side Note... Tavia was playing doctor with her. Jace was pretending to be asleep and they were checking him out. Listening to his back, his heart, taking blood pressure and then Taleah asked Tavia, "Is it cancer? Does he have cancer?" Most 2 year olds would not even play doctor nor ask if it's cancer. She is learning a lot. Keeping her informed!

Also.... she told me today that she would share her "tubie mecinine" with Chloe. I told her that Chloe didn't have a tubie. She said, "Chloe doesn't have "kemia", only I do. Oh and Mathew too!" I then informed her that lots of little kids do and reminded her about Chase. She liked that answer and kept asking about the other kids.

We get to do our chemo here tomorrow. We are headed to Marsden's office first and then over to peds floor to get the Vincristine. Hope it goes well!!


  1. I love that last picture of her. It looks like a gut-wrenching laugh. What a sweetheart.

    Glad you got some well deserved rest. Have a great day tomorrow and good luck!

  2. She is so sweet! Keep track of those "tender mercies" they will be your life-line some days. I love looking back at the tender mercies in the last few years with my dad. Take the rest when you can, it sounds like you are being well taken care of too! love you guys!

  3. I heard this quote a couple of weeks ago, as I am struggling with life and such... "If the Lord brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." You are a pillar of strength, even if you don't feel like it! :)

  4. Sometimes its still hard even though we have faith and know that god has a plan for us! The heartache and pain is still so real and I am sorry you have to endure this. I love the scripture " I can do all things through christ who strengthens me." Even when you think it's too hard remember he is there and loves us and will help us in our times of need. I lost my first husband to suicide 5 years ago and it has been so painful but I also know that god has never given up on me and helped me get through. The pain never goes completely away but it does get easier with time! I hope she makes it through she seems so strong and just a sweet little angel!