Today wasn't too bad. She had a few freak outs, a little complaining of being in pain. HATED taking the medicine. We tried crushing it in Hershey's chocolate syrup... she liked that better than chewing the pill.
It's almost as if this is all a dream...only because she is still playing, moving around and almost herself (minus the slight temper and increased appetite). Don't worry though, there were moments of reality too.
(1) Cousins came by to say (stayed outside in the front yard) and I had to follow her around to make sure she didn't get too close to anyone, touch anyone or touch the same toys. That's fun for a 2 1/2 year old...let's just say she didn't love that part.
(2) taking her temp every few hours
(3) reading other cancer cutie blogs and seeing what is to come
(4) people going out of their way to do sweet things for our family
(5) looking at her port
(6) Taleah saying, "mommy, careful don't hurt my port" (she said port...not special button)
(7) telling her she can't play with friends/cousins 100 times throughout the day
(8) playing doctor
(9) having IHC tell me that I am not elidgible for a leave or any time off to care for my child with cancer
Those are just a few of the moments. It's real. And let's be honest... I was angry tonight. I put the kids to bed and felt sorry for my baby girl... and myself. Kind of selfish on my part, but I was. It's SO not fair. Life's not fair right!? I have heard that my whole life.
I am trying to stay positive, but sometimes I just CAN'T.
We pray that you guys will have strength and comfort every day. It's okay to not always be positive, don't hide how you feel. make sure you take care of YOU, too :) You are doing great!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe IHC told you that you aren't eligible! Some people just don't have a heart! I think about Taleah and your family all the time. I ordered some Taleah bracelets, and I can't wait to get them!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to be angry. Come to boot camp whenever you can and we'll work out that aggression! And I'm so sorry that you aren't eligible for leave. It sucks when life smacks you in the face like that.
ReplyDeleteWow, really...they won't let you take leave?! Thats crazy they said you're not eligible. I've been thinking about you guys a LOT! That would be impossible to stay positive all the time with something like this tosh. I'd be an emotional roller coaster. For whatever reason you were given this trial and have had to learn a new way of things. You've been such a great example though for not only Taleah but everyone that gets to read your blog and that has known you guys...I'm so glad that you've got so much love and support around you to help with whatever they can. I hope Taleah gets feeling better each day!! Still praying for you and your cute family!
ReplyDeleteTosha I hope you know that you are amazing, and such a strong mom. I have been thinking about and praying for your family, and I check your blog everyday for updates and I'm so glad you guys are home and things are going as well as they could. I think that is ridiculous they won't let you take a leave though. Seriously! Taleah is so lucky to have you as her mom. I'm so glad that you have such an amazing family and support system around you. if there ever is anything I can do please let me know! We will continue to keep sweet taleah and your family in our prayers!!
ReplyDeleteSorry today was a rough day, but ANOTHER day has come and gone. Always a good thing. Hope tomorrow is better.
ReplyDeleteHi Tosha and family. I don't personally know you but my best friend Marque and her sister Melanie has informed me of your situation. I have read your blog and was crying immediatley. You are so strong and such an amazing mom to be going through all of this with your beautiful daughter. I just wanted to say that my family and my prayers are with you and your family. I also read about you working for IHC and how you couldnt get time off for work. My mom just so happens to work in HR for IHC and I asked her how they could help you and your family. She reminded me that recently I was in a medical situation where I as well was struggling with my medical bills. She suggested and I do to, that if you haven't already, look into the hospitals financial assitance program. I had to and it is not that hard to qualify and it really does help a lot with medical bils. So I hope that little information helps and just know that you and your family are in peoples thoughts and prayers that don't even know you.
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