Today is officially Day 1. She fasted all morning after having a rough night of fevers and pain. I could barely hold it together as I watched her in pain. I am told that a lot of the pain is from the leukemia taking over her body, which we hopefully get rid of soon and only have to deal with the pain/side effects of the chemo.
She is old enough now that she is listening to everything they say and I can see it breaking her spirits. I am not quite sure how to handle this as her mom.
She went in for a PICC line, Lumbar Puncture with intrathecal methotrexate and a bone marrow aspirate (which they are guessing is about 80-90% leukemia cells). I hated that I had to send her off for more of that when I was the one that told her we were done just a few short months ago. She is now sleeping and trying to keep her O2 sats up. I can tell that she is devastated, sad, scared and not quite sure how to process it all. She isn't loving anyone coming into the room, she is scared of everyone and what is to come.
Because she relapsed so soon after finishing treatment, her chemo rounds will be a little more intense. She will be losing her hair soon (which I am not even sure how to deal this time around). Today and tomorrow we find out her CSF has leukemia cells in it. She didn't have them at diagnosis but this is a whole new ballgame. They said they detected 6 WBC in it so they had to send it for further testing. IF she does have them, it's not great and they will change her course of treatment a little bit. We are starting all of the chemo, steroids and hanging out in the hospital room. We will test the siblings tomorrow. So much happening and so much to wrap our heads around.
Thanks again for your prayers. We sure can feel the love.