DI- Day 8

Wow, what a long 8 days. Poor girl has been miserable the majority of the time. These dang steroids magnify it all. She did have her last dose last night. YAY! Well, last meaning she has 7 days off and then 7 days on again (high dose). Then of course she will have them the first 5 days of every month. She has been a trooper and I think the key to getting through this is stayin up on the meds. We did for the first 3 days following chemo but then slacked off. I have decided that there is no reason for her to suffer.

She had clinic here for the vincristine and doxo today. The check up with Marsden yesterday didn't go over well. She was tired, emotional and cried the whole time. I think he hated it. He felt bad, but it was nothing personal. Dang steroids (I say that a lot).

I just have to say that we are grateful for the constant help with Slade and Taleah. Our families rock!!

Good thing clinic was with nurse Heather. Taleah LOVES her. Grandpa Stevenson was able to see why. She is AWESOME!! I had to bounce back and forth because I was working downstairs. I was able to be there at the beginning and the end. It was hard (and the first time) that I wasn't there through the whole thing. It was good for daddy though. He enjoyed it. She was brave, tired and endured it all.

(Grandpa didn't know I was taking a picture, but he was great to help her through it all)

Then, he was great to take her home and pick up Slade (my mom ended up getting sick). Rob watched them until I was done with work. Great family!!

Few of the Stats

ANC 3000

Hct 37.9

Hbg 12.8

I can't remember the rest. They were pretty good though. Steroids could have messed with the numbers a little, but I am expecting those numbers to drop in the near future. Along with the hair to come out.

She hasn't been the happiest. She doesn't have much energy, but not quite as miserable as last time. Trying to stay up on the meds and hoping it helps.

She is complaining of her mouth and throat hurting. I am fearing those dang mouth sores. I have got to figure out what to do for her. I hate the side effects of chemo. As if having cancer is not bad enough.

We did enjoy the warm weather today and I think she loved being outside. I can tell she is already feeling trapped and it has only been 8 days.

I have come to terms (I think) that there is NO physical way that I can keep up. As in keeping the house somewhat picked up, cleaning, laundry and no cooking. It is taking all of my energy to physically and emotionally care for my kiddos. I do need to keep things sanitized for Taleah, but keeping up is not in the plan for the next little bit. Praying that these 2 months will go smoothly and quickly. Kind of wishing time away.. is that bad?

Brianhead

Taleah could not wait to get to Brianhead. She kept saying she wanted to see Bubby. Not sure how true that statement was, but we needed to get there fast. It was a LONG drive. Only 4 hours but seemed like FOREVER!

Her cheeks were pretty rosy. I think a small reaction to the PEG she received earlier that day. She loved being with everyone (minus her fear of Jason). I was glad to have the extra hands.

She was whiny and slightly high maintenance. Again.. the steroids. It is relaxing to most to be there, but I don't know if it ever is for the mommy. Kids never sleep as well resulting in less sleep when I was already exhausted. It was great to have the extra hands. And she was happy... that was all that mattered.

(she didn't want to leave, but we had to leave earlier than everyone due to work)

DI- Day 5

We were thrilled to have daddy go with us to PCMC. He has never been to clinic with us. However, clinic was closed so we had to be admitted as a "short stay" to receive the chemo. We arrived bright and early, in hopes to leave early and meet everyone at Brianhead for some fun. My parents kept Slade and would be meeting us there.

Checked in at 8am sharp. Accessed the port and waited...waited...and waited some more. After 2 hours had passed, I was getting antsy. The pharmacy was taking forever to bring the chemo up. Taleah was ready to go before the chemo had even arrived. Nice.

She did enjoy ordering some food. Luckily, we played all around the ICS. We did anything and everything to keep her busy. Some things worked.. and at other times she was ready to get out of there.

We ended up waiting 2 1/2 hours for the chemo to come upstairs. The nurse then gave me the option to infuse in 1 or 2 hours (1 can be safer but if I thought she would do fine then 1 hour would be fine). What a tough decision, but we went with 1 for the sake of Taleah. Then, they have to watch her for an hour after (the whole reason for driving all the way up). Man, I was exhausted. She did it though.

We didn't get a CBC or anything so we weren't sure on her counts.

It was a LONG 5 days. I wasn't prepared or ready for this. Again, she is one tough cookie!

Christmas Morning

Like I said, I was praying for a good morning. She slept like a rock. Both kids slept until 8am. We had to wake everyone else up.

We waited for everyone to come up and eat a yummy breakfast. Taleah and Slade were so cute and I was thrilled that she was actually happy. YAY!!!

Oh she loves him so much. I wish he understood. He just wants to know why I won't save him!!!

Getting ready to go downstairs and see what Santa brought. She was excited and could hardly wait. She did ok for a few pictures, but not too many.

She was so excited to see what Santa brought and I loved it. She is actually old enough to know what is happening this year. LOVED every second of this morning.

He was happy too... anything to play with was great.

I guess you could say Tay and Scott were loving her gift too... they may or may not play with it more.

Opening presents was a little overwhelming for her. At one point she told me, " I have too many presents, I don't want to open anymore." And I was nervous that she would suspect we went a little skimpier this year. Good thing!

My parents had church at 1pm. Taleah really wanted to go so we put a mask on and went. We sat in the back, wiped down the chairs and then ended up leaving half way through because she (nor Slade) wanted to sit still. I didn't want her roaming around. At least we had a little spiritual uplifting.

Scott didn't want to be in a pic... surprise!

Heavenly Father knew I needed an uplifting day. We enjoyed the day, she was happy, we were able to visit the Stevensons and gear up for the drive up north that evening. I wasn't excited to drive AGAIN and neither was she. Taleah did sleep half the way and went back to sleep when we arrived. The night was rough (thank you steroids). Not a happy ending to Christmas, but at least 3/4 of the day was pleasant!!

Christmas Surprise

I had to post a few more pics of Taleah. This was the best surprise ever. My mom's family didn't do gifts for each other this year and decided to donate to our family. Taleah LOVES this doll house and the barbies/dolls that go with it. She was THRILLED when she saw it. This was all before she started feeling crappy the next day.

(It was even cuter to see how excited Hallee and Kobee were to give to her)

It was a great way to start the crappy phase. She didn't love clinic this day (as we clarified in an earlier post). Dang cancer!

On a brighter note... let's just say I was extremely discouraged. Christmas morning consisted of a lot, but the one thing that sticks out in my mind (and will forever) is the gift my aunts/uncles/grandparents gave to Scott and I. They gave us a night away in Zion, dinner at a SUPER nice place, breakfast at the same SUPER nice place and a gift basket of goodies to take. It was very humbling to open and think of what they all sacrificed to give to us. It will be GREAT to get away. What a great family. Once again.... wonderful people.